It’s been quite the feat. Noah will be going into 5th grade, Jonah into 2nd, and Hannah beginning slow start Kindergarden. It will be a fun, but challenging year. Last night I realized that we could possibly go through three surgeries in the midst of this crazy school year. A little bit of panic set in, and then today, the Lord reminded me that He has never left me. He has safe guarded Noah’s heart this far and I should trust in His perfect timing.
I have a choice. I can stay in my worry state, which will not add any hours to my life (according to Luke 12:25closeLuke 12:25 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (ESV) closeLuke 12:25closeLuke 12:25 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (ESV) 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (ESV) ) or I can choose to trust in His perfect plan. I’m gonna choose to trust and not worry. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not about my way and how I think things should go. The Lord has this all worked out, and if I get caught up in worry, I will get distracted and miss what great things God does along the way.
Here are a few answers to some questions many friends have been asking lately.
1. How long has Noah been waiting for a heart?
On Monday it will be 11 months that Noah has been waiting for his perfect healthy heart. (Check out the top right of our website for a clock counting the days)
2. Is he #1 on the transplant list?
We have no way of knowing this. Things change all the time and people are constantly being added to the list and moving around depending on their condition and other factors. What we do know is that since January, Noah has been in the Top 5 for several hearts that became available. In May, he was the #2 candidate for a specific heart – meaning that if the #1 was unable to accept the heart, it would have gone to Noah.
It has been difficult at times to wait knowing that our son’s current heart is sick and can give out (go into cardiac arrest) at any moment. However, we know that things could be much much worse. There are harder days ahead so we are thankful for this time we have with Noah and do not take any moment for granted!
3. How is Noah doing?
Physically, we have seen Noah’s energy decline little by little. He gets more tired than usual, but still lives life normally. We had a scare last month when Noah was so tired he did not want to get up from the couch for hours. They told us his last EKG looked worse. They are monitoring him more closely. His attitude is still the same. He still is not scared and is ready more than ever to get it over with. He trusts in the Lord and understands that his heart could give out at any moment. He is super brave and inspires me daily.
4. How do I respond to comments like “I don’t understand why this is happening to you guys, it’s just so much“.
My response is this : It’s really not about us, it’s about Him. I think we all go through trials and I believe God uses those trials to bring about His glory. We all walk through trials – they just look differently for each person. Through these trials, we can choose to look up and see God’s handiwork and the blessings that abound within them.
I have been given many blessings in my life from the Lord. I have a beautiful marriage, beautiful children, wonderful friendships and family, a great church family, a home, a job for my husband and the list goes on. I consider myself spoiled. We truly don’t deserve anything other than God’s wrath and yet He gives us so many blessings. We have never felt angry at God for going through these difficulties. It is hard (!) – don’t get me wrong! However, God can bring beauty out of ashes and I know He will through all of this.
We have appreciated all of your questions and would love to answer others you may have. Feel free to add any more you might have in the comment section below or on our facebook page.
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Please continue to pray for our family as we enter this next school year with lots of unknowns. Pray that we would be content in knowing that our Lord who knows all and is working all things together for good. Your support has meant so much to us. It’s been a long road and we are thankful to have you all walking with us.